Anytime you fly on an airplane, you hear the same safety speech from the flight attendants. During one part of the message, the flight attendant tells you that in the event of an emergency you are to put your own oxygen mask on first. If you think about it in the context of daily life, that’s a pretty profound lesson.
Sometimes we get so busy giving to others, or just getting through the to-do list, that we forget to take care of ourselves. You know you’re not practicing good self-care when you are starting to feel symptoms of burnout.
You might have a sense that the things that were good in the past just aren’t right anymore. You might also have the feeling that you are being used or that people just take from you all the time. Those things may be true, but they could also be signs that you are not taking good care of yourself.
Another thing that happens to some people is that they start to overreact to small inconveniences. Many people actually develop physical illnesses when they are not practicing good self-care. The great news is that you have the ability to recognize and change this pattern of behavior.
Beliefs About Self-Care
Your beliefs about self-care matter much more than you might think. If we can understand the beliefs and values behind our actions, then it becomes much easier to make the changes that we need to make.
The scary part is that most of us don’t actually know what we believe about self-care because we have never taken the time to think about it. For just a moment, imagine yourself doing something that nourishes your body, mind, and spirit. Really see yourself doing it. Imagine how you will feel.
Now, think about the following questions:
- How do you define self-care?
- What are some of the benefits of taking care of yourself?
- What are some of the cultural messages you have received about people who spend time taking care of themselves?
- What are some of the disadvantages of taking care of yourself?
- What do you think you would have to give up in order to take better care of yourself?
If you came up with some negative cultural messages about being selfish or having better, more important things to do, then you are in good company. Most people I talk to have one or more of these types of beliefs about self-care. Ask yourself if these beliefs are really true, for you, right now. Maybe they are or maybe you need to run a little experiment to test their truth.
Once you have identified your own beliefs about self-care, you are in a good position to decide if this is something you want to work on. If you know you need to take better care of yourself, don’t let negative beliefs or cultural messages stop you.
Three Steps
- Define self-care in your own words. What would self-care look like for you? Be specific. What would you do? When would you do it? How often would you do it?
- Test the limits of your beliefs. What’s the worst thing that could happen if you take 10 minutes for yourself? How about taking a whole day?
- Try an experiment. Pick one thing that would nourish you, and do it. See what happens. Chances are you will feel much better, and the world will keep spinning.
Remember that you cannot give something that you do not have. If you want to give compassion and love to others, you must first give these things to yourself.
