Have you ever had one of those days where everything that could go “wrong,” does go wrong? Well, I have. In fact, I’ve had many of those days. But, I’ve also had days where everything seems to go “right.”
The other day I was having a conversation with a couple of people. We were trying to figure out the best way to get something done. From my perspective, all I really needed was a definition of what they wanted. A couple of examples and non-examples would have been icing on the cake.
As the conversation continued, I started to realize that we were going in circles. At that point, I knew I was not going to get the clear guidance that I was looking for. Then I thought about all of the other things I needed to be doing. I felt myself slipping into a well-known pattern of cynical disconnection. I don’t really like to operate that way, so I made a choice.
I chose to take a few deep breaths. Once I was a little more centered, I remembered the technique that you will read in a few minutes. I tried this little thought experiment and immediately felt much better. I was able to rejoin the conversation from a different perspective. Although my question did not get answered, I was still able to see the value of spending my time in this particular conversation.
I’m starting to see that maybe it’s not always the things around me that are going wrong or right. Maybe it’s my view of those things that makes the difference. Maybe wrong and right are really based on where you stand when you look at the situation.
Three Steps to Shifting Your Perspective
Be Aware
In order to shift your perspective, first you have to pay attention to the fact that you have a unique perspective. We all see the world through our own filters of past experiences and internalized beliefs.
If you believe you are secure and the world is a safe place, then you may see things through a lens of order and predictability. You might have a sense that everything will work out in the end or that everything happens for a reason.
If you have a history of unresolved trauma, you may see many events as dangerous or negative. You might sense that everyone is out to get you or that bad things always happen to you.
Your current physical and mental condition also impact the filter through which you view the world. If you are stressed or tired, things will look more negative. If you are happy and nourished, things will look more positive. Knowing how you see the world will help you begin to determine if what you are seeing is truly reality or some skewed version based on your filters.
Knowing how you see the world will help you begin to determine if what you are seeing is truly reality or some skewed version based on your filters.
Another thing to be aware of is your triggers. Most people have things that trigger defensive, unproductive responses. These triggers could be situations, people, smells, visuals, etc. In the example above, my trigger was the feeling that I was wasting my time, which I believe is a valuable resource.
You want to learn your triggers because knowing what they are and how they effect you gives you more options. With awareness, you can more easily choose how to respond.
Be Curious
Once you are aware of your perspective, then you can start exploring it. Ask yourself the following questions:
- How did I come to see the world this way?
- Does this remind me of something in my past?
- Is this a pattern for me?
- Is there another way to see this situation?
If you are having a moment, you know, the kind where everything is horrible, just think of something unique. You could imagine what the world would look like if you saw everything upside down. You could also visualize the most curiously creative animal you can imagine. For me, in the conversation I talked about earlier, a purple elephant with green wings was the visual that came to mind.
The goal here is to shift the energy in your brain away from the limbic system and back to the prefrontal cortex. Without going into the neuropsychology behind it, this simple thought experiment will allow your brain to calm down for a minute. Of course, you could also try some deep breathing or meditation.
Be Open
The last step is very simple. Just try to be open to seeing things from a different perspective. Think about how someone else, with a different past, or different resources, might view the situation.
As you practice recognizing your perspective, you will learn how to easily shift into a more desired state of mind. Being open to exploring your own thoughts and reactions will naturally lead to more awareness and more choice.
Please Share and Comment
Have you noticed how easy it is to get stuck seeing the world through your own filters? Imagine what your life would be like if you could recognize the past experiences and internal beliefs that inform your view of the world? What if you could identify and neutralize some of your triggers? Well, you can. It just takes some practice.
If you found this practice helpful, share it with your friends.
One thought on “It’s All About Perspective”