Do you ever feel overworked, underpaid, or underappreciated? Most people have felt this way at one time or another. I have heard people describe it as swimming upstream, fighting a losing battle, chasing their tail, or running on fumes. These different ways of understanding our current reality can reveal a lot about our underlying values and current perspective.
Our Perspective
If I were to ask you to think about an area of your life where you feel overworked or underappreciated, which area would it be? Would it be work, home, church, school, or friendships? Thinking about this area, what are your specific complaints?
Maybe you feel like you put in more effort than others. Maybe you believe that you are worth more than you currently receive. Maybe you think that people should recognize what you do and praise you for your contribution. These thoughts could be based on your assumptions about what others should be doing.
I can agree that it is difficult to keep putting forth your best effort when you don’t feel like others value your contribution. It would be nice if everyone put in the same amount of effort, received appropriate compensation for the value they contribute, and felt appreciated in all areas of life.
However, the truth is that we live in the real world. Things are not always going to be fair. Other people have their own perspectives and see the world through their own filters of assumptions, beliefs, and values.
Our Values
The more important factor here is that we can only control ourselves. Trying to convince people to change is typically a waste of time and energy. We have all heard the saying, “you can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink.” Horses can be stubborn, but so can people.
So, how do we reconcile this situation? Like always, we focus on what we can change. If we step back from the situation, we can figure out our values in this specific area of life. Why are we doing what we are doing? Why do we keep going to work and putting forth our best effort? Why do we keep cleaning up the house, knowing it will be messy again tomorrow?
Is this something we really want to keep doing? Let’s be honest, sometimes we really are overworked and underappreciated. Maybe it’s time to step back and let someone else carry the load for a little while.
Align Our Values and Actions
Hopefully, we do these things for a reason that is bigger than applause or money. If we can see that our efforts are based on our values (not some external reward), then it becomes much easier to keep going. Knowing how to realign our values and shift our perspective can help us feel a little better about these situations.
I don’t know about you, but I do what I do because it aligns with my values. If my actions didn’t align with my values, I would consider finding something else to do with my time and energy.
However, there are times when I begin to feel overworked and underappreciated. When this happens, I remind myself of the reasons why I do what I do. For those who are interested, here are my beliefs, as I currently understand them.
- I believe that it is important to give to others, based on what I have been given.
- I believe that self-knowledge gives us greater flexibility.
- I believe that awareness brings more opportunities for choice.
- I believe that people make the best decisions they can make, based on their past experiences and future goals.
- I believe that we are all more powerful than we realize.
